Tip # 267 Awal awal booking holiday

So today is Saturday, tomorrow is Hari Raya Haji and Monday also is a holiday. I am going up to Colmar with hubs for a retreat. Actually I tengah melarikan diri dari kena duduk celebrate kat sini. Sebab it means duk masak masak ngn MIL & maid and layan orang and memenatkan. I dah kena masa Raya Puasa haritu, cukup la . I ni bukannya Girl next door, baik ,jenis rajin buat kerja rumah, bangun pagi masak sume. Tapi sebab dah married kena berlakon buat macam tu.Ahh tak payah lah. Dulu buat baik tapi still kena jugak, so lupakan aje la. Next year ada rumah sendiri,  baru puas hati Raya kat rumah. Pagi raya buat BBQ grill, nice. Kalau buat swimming pool, boleh buat pool party. Macam P.Diddy punye party. 
Pergi Colmar nak tidur je, boleh?

Tip # 263 Beware:Tak ada orang nak bagi free holiday...

Last Saturday, pergi gerai-gerai makan kat section 2. MIL nak makan and fotostet documents. Tengah tunggu fotostet sembang dengan one makcik yang duduk kat gerai tu. Dorang duduk one group, tunggu ape ntah, tak tahu. Tanya la "Dari mana?" , dia jawab dari Penang..Jauh makcik-makcik ni datang, datang ramai ramai makan angin kat Shah Alam, apa kebendanya? Kalau KLCC logik ah.."Kami datang naik bas dari Penang..". Ada orang kampung ajak jalan-jalan makan angin ke Terengganu, free holiday, all expenses paid...I pun dah confuse...Rupanya, orang tu detour perjalanan depa ni ke Shah alam pulak. Depa nak cakap apa? Dah naik bas, free plak..terpaksa la ikut..orang kampung kan. Tahu tak kenapa detour sampai ke Bandar Anggerik ni? Sebab nak join konvensyen Keadilan. Orang Permatang Pauh ni kena la turun kasi support.  
"So makcik tidur mana malam tadi?" , "Tidur dalam bas". O my God. Dalam hati I, hotel budget pun tak bagi? Mandi, berus gigi, pergi toilet, solat semua harap pergi surau/masjid ke? Mungkin tak selesa tapi dah terpaksa..tapi ko tak Hangin ke kena 'dupe' /terpedaya macam ni? 
Ada ke tipu orang kampung sendiri, ADIL ke macam tu ?

Tip #5 Don't have an in-house maid

This morning while siap siap nak pergi kerja I was telling my husband about The Terminator - Arnold Schwarzenegger affair, how the news broke out. He slept with their Housekeeper yang dah kerja dengan family dia orang for many years, then one day, about 1 year back, housekeeper ni bawa her son datang rumah. Budak ni dah 13 yrs old.So , boleh bayangkan how long ago this was. Orang orang kat rumah dia start noticing the resemblance to the Terminator, so the gossips started. Wife Arnold ni, Maria, tak ambil port, but a woman's instinct can't be denied and mana ada pokok goyang kalau tak dak angin, kan? (Entah betul ke tidak I guna this peribahasa - SPM BM dapat 3 je). 

So Maria tu , satu hari approach la makcik Mildred ni, I call her makcik sebab kalau tengok gambar dia memang macam makcik la compared to Maria. Tak ada pinggan terbang, kaca pecah, furniture terbalik ke..tak ada. Dengan coolnya Maria asked Mildred 'is there anything you wanna tell me?' ..siap offer diri.."I'm here if you need to talk ..". Makcik Mil dengan penuh rasa serba salah broke down crying and confessed..Maria pun nangis jugak. Maria dengan penuh tabah siap berpeluk-pelukan lagi dengan makcik Mil yang kata "bukan semuanya salah Arnie (<-nama manja Terminator..awww!)". Mildred nak benti kerja tapi Maria dengan besar hati kata stay la dulu sampai lepas musim perayaan.  

Syabas Sis Maria, so strong..siap boleh go on interview with Oprah lagi selepas confrontation tu (sbb dah schedule interview) and talked about her new book Just Who Will You Be? Maria's biography about her life as a Kennedy niece, her family and expectations of her.

I dunno if the housekeeper sleep kat her house ke tak, becoz kadang kadang matsalleh ni ada jugak housekeeper yang datang rumah daily, tapi balik tidur rumah sendiri. 

Then previously case Jude Law, the cute actor, yang kena tinggal dengan fiance Sienna miller sebab he slept with his children's Nanny.  (His kids from previous marriage with ex-wife Sadie Frost). Tapi Jude boleh plak blame Sienna sebab Sienna kaki party then kerja tidur je, tak pay attention to him, itu pasal dia baraikan nanny. Watever...every relationship ada unique reasons.

Pastu I remembered Ethan Hawke also split from wife Uma Thurman, but at the time it wasn't said outright that he had betrayed her with their nanny. Tapi now Papa Ethan sudah nak masuk baby kedua dengan the same nanny. 

See the pattern here?

Well mat salleh memang tak betul kan..But here, locally pun, we've heard of the tuan rumah banging the foreign maid. Lagi-lagi cerita the maid pakai black magic mumbo jumbo untuk tarik lelaki sayang kat dia. eww. ada satu cerita maid dari jiran kita di atas yang menyapu 'benda' kat nennen dia so that sekali lelaki tu dah tidur ngan dia, dia mesti nak lagi, dan lagi dan lagi. I'm sure lelaki tu pun sure binggung,pikir, Dia ni muka pecah tongkang tapi aku nak jugak ...

ew gross

Minta jauh la.

Minta husbands out there be more beriman kepada Allah SWT and wives to be more faithful to their husbands wishes and commands.

Also ask for God's protection from aniaya orang and sihir..amin.

#478 The meaning of shortform untuk orang tua macam buyui dan saya

Dear miss B,

Since you lazy to find out what the shortforms in these young people's blog mean, I have googled it for ya.


FTF = face to face (<-from adinda evans girl)

TTYE = talk to you eventually (<-paris H)

now back to reading trashy , teenage blogs...

Jennifer Aniston sex tape

Notice how mentioning 'sex video' is so common, like nothing already. Dulu orang selindung dengan the term 'blue film'. Now dah tak payah. It is widely distributed among our school children. I know this because the school girls I interviewed semuanya cakap benda yang sama.Schoolgirls tau. Not only Boys.Dulu boys je kan? Bawak handphone pi sekolah, bluetooth porn kat member, share dan tonton la sama sama. Yang I terkejut sebab budak luar bandar, kat kampung pun sama juga. Tambah plak timbul politician punya sex videos, then tv berita utama pun tunjuk snapshot baik punyer video seks ni, tak ke makes it a common thing among society? Kalau dulu cakap pasal the mat sallehs sex videos je i.e. paris H..Lantak la depa mat salleh, memang tak betol pun. Skang kita yang 'Easterner', Asian,yang still culturally rich ni pun sudah maju. Globalization. Rupanya japanese porn dah lama, I aje baru tahu, sejak tau Maria ozawa dari membaca serius blog (favorite ni) and googling Maria O. Dia sgt cantik, tapi maybe I kurang setuju dengan career choice dia.
But I like this sex tape , just watch :)

Tip # 4 Marry only One person at a time

Some say Marriage is Difficult.
But I say Marriage is easy kalau  kahwin sorang je. Yakni , husband saja. Ini dah kahwin dengan satu family dia, mak dia, kakak dia, abang dia...kan dah susah, sorang sorang ada 'needs' lain lain. Nak kena layan sorang sorang sume lain lain.
My mum used to say, u nak marry, find an orphan , tak payah deal dengan family dia. 
Tapi rata rata laki i pernah date ,sume  ada je mak ayah and big family.
So sekarang i stuck sorang sorang layan perasaan gurindam ..:(

TIp #109 Park outside and Suck more

Haha. Hahahahhahahaha..!
Continuation dari last post.
Park outside : Park KERETA outside pagar rumah. Tapi 'parking' lagi satu kat 'luar' pun kena practice juga kalau tak nak mengandung. Nak elak hamil sebelum time yang sesuai untuk ada anak. Ok, adik adik. Coz recently, the whole week I've been talking to pregnant teens , pregnant accidentally and tak guna condom or pil cegah hamil. Dia harap boipren parking kat luar, end up accidental parking kat dalam, maklum lah, berbumbung, selesa parking dalam.
Suck more : becozzz..memang most guys dig this. I tak pernah jumpa lelaki yang kata dia tak suka. Tak, I tak jumpa banyak lelaki. haha. I mean among my many many guy frens and from what I know,hell, ask ex-US president Bill...But this is more directed to the Wicked witch becoz i said she sucked.